Language Lessons #1

I have been in Mexico just over a month now and I've come to realise Spanish doesn't really make any sense. Before anyone gets indignant, let me justify this statement. In English you have the pronouns I/You/He or She/We/They. In Spanish they have:
Yo= I
Tú (singular)= You
Él/ Ella= He/She
Nosotros= We
Vosotros (plural)= You
Ellos/Ella= They

Layer #1 of confusion: So already you have two more pronouns (the formal 'you' and feminine 'they'- 'ellas').

Layer #2 of confusion: Spanish also has another way to say 'you' which is 'usted' (you singular) or 'ustedes' (you plural). So 'usted=tu' and 'ustedes=vosotros'. However, to conjugate the verbs in the correct way for the pronoun 'usted' uses 'el/ella' and 'ustedes' is conjugated with 'ellos/ellas'.
So...
Tú comes --> You eat
Usted come --> You eat
Él/Ella come --> He/She eats
Ustedes comen --> You eat (But plural, so addressing a group of people)
Ellos/Ellas comen--> They eat

Layer #3 of confusion: In Spanish you don't have to say the pronoun when you're speaking. It is completely omitted, thus it becomes...
Comes --> You eat
Come --> You eat
Come --> He/She eats
Comen --> You eat (But plural, so addressing a group of people)
Comen--> They eat

So when someone is saying 'he eats', they could also be saying 'you eat' and the only way to figure it out is to understand the context of the sentence. For example, in lessons when I first arrived, the teacher would refer to the class using 'ustedes', using the conjugation of the verb for 'they' (ellos/ellas) and I could not for the life of me figure out why the teacher kept referring to us as 'they' as if us, the students, weren't in the classroom. And one day it just clicked that they were using 'usted/ustedes' instead of 'tu/vosotros' and the conjugation was just completely different to what I was used to.

Layer #4 of confusion: I have completely forgotten how to conjugate verbs with 'vosotros' because in Latin America they don't use 'vosotros', they pretty much exclusively use 'usted' and 'ustedes'. However, in Spain they don't use 'usted/ustedes', they use 'tu/vosotros'. So, when I move to Malaga in January I'm going to have a lot of fun trying to remember conjugations (that was sarcasm if you couldn't tell, I hate conjugating verbs). If this explanation made no sense to you I apologise, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it myself.

Spanish also has a lot of synonyms. I feel like every time I learn a word I should also be searching for the three other words that mean exactly the same thing. For example, the word for car in Spanish is 'coche', but can also be 'carro' and 'automóvil'. 'Beautiful' is another example; hermosa/a, lindo/a, bello/a, precioso/a (and don't even get me started on masculine and feminine). Of course, this is because Spanish is spoken by so many people in so many countries that variations on the same word was bound to happen. It just feels like an uphill battle because you can learn the word for something, then speak to someone who uses a synonym (of which there are many) and not get what they're talking about even though you do know one word for the same thing they're talking about. Spanish is such a rich language it can sometimes just feel so overwhelming because where do you even being when a language has so many words (I'm thinking flashcards).

And then there are situations when I just have no idea what is being said. When I was younger I used to imagine that toilet meant tree and vice versa. And, if I just started saying "We need to clean the tree" or "I'm going to pick apples off the toilet" without telling anyone about the switch, they would just think I was losing it. I have been living in Mexico for just over a month now and sometimes I feel like this is now my reality, I'm just making it up as I go along because sometimes I'm so sure I have the right word, and it turns out I've been saying or understanding something in completely the wrong way. For example, I was at a sushi place the other day trying to figure out the menu and the word 'cangrejo' came up. I was convinced this meant kangaroo and for 30 seconds was absolutely certain that the restaurant was serving kangaroo sushi. Obviously, I realised the absurdity of them serving kangaroo and started searching my brain for the real meaning. It was crab. Of course it was crab. Not kangaroo. But learning a language does weird things to you. You want to understand so much, so quickly, you can suspend your disbelief and believe in kangaroo sushi for 30 seconds. Similarly, I was paying for drinks in a restaurant and I asked the waiter if I could pay 'en directo', which I thought meant 'in cash'. It was not how you say that. I was met with a blank stare, a slight raised eyebrow until I held up my cash and kind of gestured that's how I wanted to pay. I could see it click in the waiter's face as he said 'en efectivo' (the real way to ask to pay in cash). Si, claro (yes, of course). However, I count this as a win because I didn't immediately resort to English or feel mortally embarrassed. I've realised that for the next 2-3 months I am probably just going to make a fool of myself most days, and that's okay because it's how I'm learning. I'll never forget 'en effectivo' again. Case in point, what do you say when someone sneezes ? Bless you, right, got that. In Spanish, you say 'salud' (which basically means health). Now, before learning Spanish, I learnt French, and I have to say it does sometimes pop out in the most irritating of places. So, someone sneezes and I immediately, and very confidently go for 'santé'. I think because it sounds semi-familiar to the Spanish. The problem is 'santé' is neither Spanish, nor does in mean bless you. It means 'cheers', in French. I was so proud of myself until 1/2 later when I realised my mistake. And at the time I kind of thought, is this right but you can't second guess yourself with everything you say. So, I know if I get weird looks from my semi-comprehensible Spanish it's because the word I'm using is probably not the right one.

I have also been having problems with my name because 'Orla' and 'hola' sound extremely similar. Maybe not to an English person because there is a distinct 'or' and 'oh' sound. However, in Spanish the 'r' sound is a lot harder and it can also be rolled. And I can't roll my r's so without fail, if someone asks me my name, I get a look of confusion. I spell it out, but again, can't roll my r's so the sound I make for 'r' sounds like 'l'. So, I think people think my name is 'Olla' which is... 'hola'. Then people think they understand and wave at me and say 'Como hola'. I've given up at this point and have just accepted my name is may seem slightly weird here.

N.B to the Sushi place. 10/10 sushi (I know, Sushi in Mexico ? But it's really good sushi). I took my friends there and ordered the same thing I order when I get take-away. When I call them I always order the same thing (Salmoncito and aguacate). It was the same when I took them. At the end of the meal the waitress came over and asked me if I was Orla. I was like yeah, that's me (in Spanish of course). She told me she was always the one who took my order on the phone and she recognised it. This makes it sound like I've ordered sushi everyday (not everyday, but like 3-4 times in a week isn't bad, right?). Long story short, I think I might be their most loyal customer and I'm quite proud of myself.